On my way to the grocery store this week, I saw a person who was quite clearly homeless walking on the side of the road.
I wanted to help, but I was driving while cars were speeding by and I would have had to make a u-turn, so i didn’t stop. I felt bad about it and it triggered another memory from the mid 60’s.
I was walking with my friend James toward 42nd Street and 7th Ave. During the mid 60’s, this was not a very desirable area . Drugs, prostitution, X rated movies, etc.
We were young teens at the time and were on our way to Macys to look for new sweaters, as Autumn was close upon us. We both had part time jobs while attending High School because money was tight in both of our homes.
Just before entering the store, we came upon a guy standing off to the side of the sidewalk.
The man is standing in the heat of the day, barefoot. His beard is long and dirty looking and his skin is cracked and weather worn.He wears a dirty tee shirt and jeans that are falling apart at the seams. There is a small , dirty plastic bag beside him, in which we assume are all his possessions.
He looks like he could be no older than his early thirties.
He is shaking a small aluminum cup, asking for some help from those passing by.
He looks like he hasn’t had a good meal in a long time.
Almost everyone passing takes little to no notice of him. They keep their heads down and avoid looking at him as they quickly walk past. In those days any homeless person on the streets was just considered “a bum”.
We certainly didn’t have very much money to spare, but, between us we did have some loose change. James and I exchange quick looks to confirm what we would do. We walk up to the guy and smile weakly while throwing the change in his cup.
He smiles back, and says; “thank you so much “ .
You would have thought we gave him $1,000.
We ask him a simple , yet dumb question; “Are you ok?”
He offers a weak smile and responds; “No; things are a mess right now…… I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
The first thing that catches our attention is that he sounds like an actor or something. His voice is crystal clear and he sounds very well educated.
We continue the conversation for a while and find out that he has been homeless and living on the street for almost a year.
He has a Business Degree from Rice University and had a job as a Human Resource Manager before being terminated.
He was terminated for making a stupid mistake that could not go without consequences, especially for an HR Manger.
He was caught smoking weed on Company property.
He admits that it was a dumb, stupid thing to do and wishes he could have a “do over” on this one. He tells us to be careful in our lives because “do overs” are not all that common.
He holds no bitterness toward his former company, and realizes that he broke very clear rules. He advises us to be honest in life…. not to agree to regulations which we have no intention of abiding by.
He ends our short conversation by saying that he wishes his former Company all the best.
He wishes us a happy life as he makes his way to another corner, hoping that it will bring better luck with his aluminum can. He thanks us again for our small gift.
James and I do not move…. we stand there looking at each other while realizing that this homeless, rumpled man is far from “a bum”. He is probably more intelligent and caring than the majority of those passing by and ignoring him without giving him even a look.
Looks can be deceiving, eh?
We then continue on to Macy’s to get purchase our sweaters.
We walked home later that day without any sweaters. The money that we had saved up somehow found its way to a dirty aluminum cup.
and, here’s the thing; today, so, so many years later I realize how fortunate and blessed I am, especially as I painfully recount the number of times that I did not take that man’s advise.
Life lessons can be hard…. and that memory is one of them.
Don.